presidentheartbeat | The "Why Can't We Be Friends" roadtrip

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The "Why Can't We Be Friends" roadtrip

The beginning of spring has always brought with it a surge of life to the manor, with the flowing greenery and blooming of flowers in the gardens, the return of any staff members who needed relocating through the winter, the sudden influx of reports from every corner of the land stacked into neat papers for Zelos to organize and go through.

It's all so boring, though. Zelos leans way back on his seat, holding some random documents in his hands, lazily scanning the pages one by one. Blah blah this, blah blah that. Taxes, trade caravans, territory disputes, bandits, yadda yadda, same old bullshit, same old problems--and that's without counting any of the other requests from the peasantry accumulated since the last stack. He frowns, sighs. Bounces his leg. This is nothing new or too difficult, but definitely stuff that will take a huge chunk of the day just going through. So even with the sun at its peak and the day warmer than it's been in months, already that's a beautiful day gone to waste.

Good grief.

...And alas.

Zelos sets down the stack of papers and gets up from his seat, leaving his desk to look out the windows behind him instead. Greenery, blue skies, singing birds; already so much better than last week. Spring is here, and two things always follow the first rays of sunlight over the land. The first is more and more work as he grows older, more responsibilities stacking over on his shoulders as he continues to adjust to the title of "lord of the land". Zelos groans, stretches his arms over his head. Pops his shoulder. Keeping track of who wants what and where is always such a hassle.

He bites the inside of his cheek. Keeping track of anything is always such a hassle. Zelos never even wanted this in the first place, anyway, but things sure change quickly within barely a few years when everyone is in a panic after their previous lady dies.

Whatever.

Zelos reaches over and opens a window, sticking his head outside and looking at the main road, squinting. The breeze feels good. Staring out the window isn't productive, Zelos knows, but it's not like he can be assed to go back to the boring stack of papers on the desk any time soon when there's already something else in his mind. Because the second thing that happens, every time without fail when spring arrives, is the return of most of his younger knights from the academy next town over. And among them, there's always--

Hm, okay. Zelos bites his lower lip, then abruptly gets back inside and closes the window, rounding the desk to walk over to the door. The stack of papers remains discarded and unattended to on the desk. But Zelos is distracted, and there's no way he can get any work done like that, can he? He should do everything in his power to clear his mind. Maybe he could take a walk outside, then, subtly sticking to the front garden to keep an eye out for any carriages and marches. Just in case.

After all, it's spring. Lloyd could be returning any time now.

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Looks like Zelos is sharp as ever. Lloyd smiles a little as Zelos describes what he knows about Iselia, watching as the realization washes over him through the explanation. The good news is that the redhead doesn't look irritated by the idea of heading to Iselia, but Lloyd knows Zelos well enough to know that he's more than likely got several worries and issues already lined up against the prospect.

"A small, sleepy border town far away from any immediate rule sounds like a grand place to start a new life, don't you think?" Lloyd asks, leaning forward a little, hands in his lap. The fire is warm and cozy, reminds him of the few fun expeditions he had during his time in the academy, and it helps melt the ice in the conversation. "There's a man who lives there - a blacksmith named Dirk - who's offered to help us settle down as long as we can make it over. He used to be a close friend of my mother's."

The truth is, Dirk had originally only offered to help Lloyd. But even months ago, when they first began exchanging letters, Lloyd had already decided that he would attempt this with Zelos at his side. It took a few more letters to convince Dirk that taking a lord away from their position would be possible without immediate casualty, but Dirk eventually agreed to help them both - under the condition that Lloyd and Zelos get there on their own, first.

Lloyd bites at his lip, gives Zelos a few moments to process the plan as it stands, and then opens his mouth. For all of Lloyd's certainty in this plan, for all the preparation and care he's taken in making this work, he wants Zelos' input, wants Zelos to know that he can choose to do whatever he'd like so long it makes him happy. After all, this is about freedom; even though Lloyd wants nothing more than to be able to be close with Zelos like they used to be, he didn't break Zelos out of a life in chains to chain them both together instead.

"So, what're your thoughts on this?"

Well, Lloyd having at least an idea of plan is better than Lloyd having nothing at all, but there's still a few things missing from what he's just said. So, grabbing the reigns that Lloyd's just passed him, Zelos sits up straighter, takes a deep breath, and gets to work in refining that.

"Considering who it is that you're carting around," he says, gesturing at himself with one hand, "you're going to have to get creative on which cities and towns you can enter and which you must absolutely avoid. Not to mention stray bandits, Kratos' search party, and anyone who could recognize me outside of them--hell, even knights and guards sent to protect vulnerable towns themselves will be a problem."

There's still more to it, of course, something more sinister brewing under the surface of all the civil unrest of Zelos' lands. All the anxious energy in his nerves escapes him in a bouncing leg, one hand coming to rest under his chin as he glares at the fire, trying to put all his worries and thoughts into words. The fire crackles again, embers rising to the skies. The lord clicks his tongue. What Lloyd is asking here, and the way he's going about it... to make a journey on foot across the entire land... surely he must've accounted for all the problems going around, right? What about the food scarcity near the border towns? All the knights back at the manor would've heard; that's exactly what the majority get tasked with helping with.

Zelos runs a hand through his hair, left leg bouncing again after he's crossed it over his right. He's getting fidgety already. This really is a mess. "And Iselia is really far away, Lloyd," Zelos adds after a small pause. "Do you have a route planned? Like, it's already a long journey if you're doing it by foot, let alone zig-zagging around. Do you have an ETA in mind or are you just gonna wing it?"

Edited 2019-09-28 20:34 (UTC)

Sitting with his back straight and his attention directly on Zelos, Lloyd lets the redhead address his concerns, worries, and any questions he might have. It's best if they get all of this out of the way, anyways, so that there's no miscommunication when they're already a decent way on their trail. In the case that Zelos is incredibly against going to Iselia for any reason, maybe they can take this moment to plan around that, consider another option. Not that Lloyd has any, of course, but.

They'll deal with it should they need to.

"I've already marked which towns should be safe to go into," Lloyd says, standing, grabbing his pack, and shuffling stuff around to get the map again. He passes it to Zelos when he has it, letting him see their route for himself. The main route has been marked with blue ink, with detours and subroutes marked with red should need be, but he doesn't foresee too many issues popping up. "Almost all of them are towns with low guard presence, mostly in boring towns with more agriculture-based economy rather than market or political presence. And in that vein, we'll mostly be taking mercenary roads and paths, keeping away from any main roads. As long as we can defend ourselves from any possible bandits, we'll be fine."

Lloyd sits back down across from Zelos, lets him process everything at his own speed, yet keeping a semi-anxious eye on him. Lloyd's planned for this, spent hours thinking everything through, but if Zelos wants nothing to do with it, he's not going to force him into a journey he doesn't want. They'll find somewhere else, somewhere he'd agree with. "If we decide to go through with Iselia we should be there before winter," Lloyd answers. "There's... I'm sure you've heard about the unrest across the land. The royal guards and knights are already preoccupied with handling that - right now, there's a shortage in knights to handle more local issues. And I know my father," Lloyd scoffs, picking a rock off the ground and tossing it between his hands, "he'll try to keep this a secret for a while as to not incite panic. I give it at least two weeks before he starts spreading the world about your disappearance. We'll be able to make a lot of distance between us and the capital by then, and since news travels slowly, I'd say it'll take a long while before any of these villages learn the truth."

Dropping the rock back down onto the ground, Lloyd runs a hand through his fringe. "Should we need to, we can pass ourselves off as traveling mercenaries. But as it stands, we're going to mostly avoid traveling through villages unless we need to restock or the weather is unpermitting of further travel. I doubt we'll really need to."

Once again, having some semblance of a plan is better than no plan, and at least Lloyd here looks and sounds like he's done his homework. The crackling of the fire accompanies the knight's voice as Zelos looks at the map, following each of the routes highlighted with his eyes, contextually guessing the meaning of each detour from what he knows as lord of the land. This... definitely looks like a six month journey, at most. Getting to Iselia by winter isn't very attractive to Zelos, but, well, beggars can't be choosers, right?

Beyond that, Lloyd is right in all his assumptions. It is best to stick to agricultural towns, to avoid all cities and main roads, and try to defend themselves from any conflict on their own. The secrecy and lack of communication for protocol back at home should save them the time they need to perfect this. Looking at it like this, from an outsider's point of view, then everything really is perfectly aligned for Lloyd's escape down south. Iselia really is the best choice.

It's too late to back down. So then right now, Zelos has no choice but to follow Lloyd's plans.

So be it, then.

"Well, if we're going to hit some towns every now and then, then it's good thing you grabbed my money bag, huh?" Zelos says casually, folding the map back up and handing it over to Lloyd again. He keeps a smirk on his face, something easy he uses all the time to hide his anxieties, and shrugs. "Guess I'll follow. You have a good plan, at least. The rest we'll figure out as we go along, right?"

Edited 2019-09-29 20:05 (UTC)

Nodding along to what Zelos has to say, he packs the map back up and glances over at his companion, offering a grin and an excited, "right!"

Leaning back on his hands, lifting his head to stare up at the stars that glint across the sky, clear and plentiful as they are, Lloyd takes a deep breath. It's their first real night on their journey, the first time of many in which they'll sit in front of a fire like this and just deal with the fact that they're no longer confined to the titles they were raised for. It makes hope swell in Lloyd's heart: maybe Zelos and him aren't quite friends again yet, and maybe Zelos isn't entirely sure of what they're doing, but Lloyd knows they can work at it and be like they used to again. And it's with that thought that he brings his gaze back down to Zelos, determined to find some common talking point between them again.

He just needs a minute to think about it.

Lloyd falls silent, taking with him the one distraction keeping everything in Zelos' mind at bay right now. Without even noticing he's doing it Zelos glares at the fire between them both, curling into his own cloak for warmth and for the lack of anything else to do, a groan caught in his throat. Honestly, Zelos has had enough of all these silences, even more so of the overthinking that comes within them. This is his path now and he has to deal with it whether he likes it or not.

Actually, fuck dealing with it any longer.

"Wellp. A cat nap is great and all, but I need my beauty sleep if I'm gonna have any energy for this roadtrip of yours," Zelos says just as Lloyd lowers his gaze again, the timing perfect as he stretches his arms above his head and rises to a stand, "so I'm gonna hit the sack now." There's tone to his words that he hopes reads as final, but-- "You should, too," Zelos adds last minute, lazily gesturing with one hand at the knight. That said, he yawns out loud for extra effect and to drown out anything Lloyd may say, then quickly directs himself to his own pack in search of a bedroll to waste the night away in.

He's hoping that sleep comes quick enough to drive away the last remaining bits of his regrets and worries, but when has Zelos ever been lucky enough to have life go the way he wants it? Most likely he will lie away for hours while watching the sky and listening to the sound of fire mixing with nature's own, wondering why he's here and if any of this is okay or not.

Edited 2019-09-29 23:59 (UTC)

Biting his tongue in surprise as Zelos stands and declares his goodnight, Lloyd pushes back whatever it was he was going to say and instead decides to nod. "Yeah. Yeah, you get to sleep," he says, grabbing his own pack, "we should rest up. Long day ahead of us."

Lloyd pulls out the bedroll, standing and placing it down on the ground a few feet away from the fire, straightening it out before taking off his tunic and slipping into the sleeping back, pulling the cover-up to his but neglecting to zip up the side, should he have to get up in a hurry. It's all familiar, all instinct, at this point. In the academy, there were days where they'd go on travel exercises, be forced to figure out how to live outside of comfort while the instructors watched. Lloyd always excelled at those before all else.

All ready for bed, Lloyd stares back up at the sky, blinking slowly against the starry night. He's not sleepy even though exhaustion rings heavy in his bones, though he's sore all over. He's not even sure he's capable of sleeping as it stands, not with how his mind races, equal parts excited and scared and hopeful and stressed. This journey means a new life, means freedom, means second chances, and all Lloyd can think about is how it could go wrong - how he might've already done wrong, and how no matter what, he refuses to let this burn up in flames.

"Goodnight," Lloyd says aloud, closing his eyes and willing sleep to come to him, even though he knows it won't come easy.

-

The next day is rather quiet, walking without much talk and with much caution. It's very similar to the first day of their travels, actually, with Lloyd walking about a foot or two ahead of Zelos as they continue making distance between themselves and the manor. Zelos follows along, of course, and he seems just as alert as Lloyd is after they manage to find some breakfast in the form of a rabbit that Lloyd slaughters as mercifully as possible. It's obvious that the redhead is thinking hard about something, however, and no matter how badly Lloyd wants to ask about it, he keeps his mouth shut, knowing it better to give Zelos space until they get closer.

So he keeps leading them, keeps following his map and compass and any passing signs, focusing on being an accurate navigator rather than attempting to strike up a conversation that would go nowhere. At some point, Lloyd looks back to check on the redhead behind him, catching him deep in thought, sharp eyes focused on the road in front. The sunlight coming from the dimming sunset reflects bright against his hair, and Lloyd is stricken with just how eye-catching Zelos is, in the most literal sense. It occurs to him here that Zelos can be easily described, easily spotted, and easily identified. There's not too much he can do about that, but...

Sunset fades into twilight, which turns into night. They set up camp again, and once again end up lapsing into silence, Zelos deciding to try and sleep as soon as they're able. Once again left alone, hoping for sleep, Lloyd attempts to come up with ways to easily disguise Zelos past a cloak, or even find any ways to throw off the description of him that's bound to come from the capital. Nothing much comes to mind. In fact, nothing comes to mind until the following morning, when his dagger glints in his eyes as he relights the fire to cook breakfast on.

After they eat, and before Zelos packs up his things, Lloyd approaches him. What he means to ask is both sudden and unusual, so Lloyd's at a bit of a loss on how to ask it, but he figures some context would do them well, first. "Zelos," he calls out, grabbing the man's attention, before taking a deep breath. "Okay, well. I've been thinking. We're not too far out from the next town on our map, and we'll need to restock on a few things - chances are, we'll hit that town today. And, while I don't think we have to worry about people recognizing you just yet, it's never bad to be safe over sorry. You're... Describable. You have unique features, things people can catch easy and remember. Should someone see you, chances are, they'd be able to remember what you looked like."

The same can't really be said for Lloyd. While his red eyes are deeply unusual and tend to gain him some sideways looks, he's rather normal looking. Brown, almost red short hair and dark skin are nothing new around these parts. Zelos is all pale skin, bright ruby hair, and lilac eyes. He stands out like a sore thumb, and while that may have worked out for him before, it does nothing for keeping a low profile. The most either of them can do about this is toss off any possible description even just a little.

"Knights give off information for potential captures and rescues beginning with a physical description. If they said they were looking for someone with long red hair, and somebody saw you with, say, short hair, then it would cause just enough confusion for someone to pass you off as someone different." Lloyd pauses, lets Zelos take in what he's trying to get across, and picks up the sheathed dagger he has yet to put away. He feels bad asking what he's about to ask, knowing that Zelos won't exactly be happy about it, knowing that he takes some comfort from playing with it and being able to use it as a sort of distraction.

"I think, because of that, that it might be wise to cut your hair. But this is entirely your decision. If not, we can just find a way to hide it otherwise."

All this goddamn silence is gonna drive Zelos to an early grave, is what he's thinking when Loyd finally approaches him and starts talking during lunch time. At first he offers the knight a polite, sweet smile, trying to see where this conversation will go, which then turns into raised eyebrows and a smirk when Lloyd starts mentioning his features, which then turns into a frown and a pout when he gets exactly the point Lloyd wants to make, which then turns into wide eyes when Lloyd gets the dagger out.

Oh, holy shit.

"I." Hm, nope. Try again. He swallows hard. Zelos isn't stupid; he knows that cutting his hair would probably save them more time and troubles than if he did nothing with it, but. Short hair? Him? Holy hell, Zelos hasn't touched his hair since he was a child. "Well, damn. Okay, I-- Do-- You actually have experience with cutting hair, don't you?" he laughs, high pitched and perhaps a little manic as he levels Lloyd with a pleading look behind his grin. "Please tell me you do."

Yeah, that suggestion went down about as smoothly as Lloyd expected it to. He rubs at the back of his neck with his free hand as Zelos attempts to absorb the concept of Lloyd cutting his hair, sympathetic and patient. Aaaaaand even though he does have experience cutting hair, saying I cut my own hair may not have much of a better response. He can't even lie and say he's cut someone else's hair, be it a friend or anyone - Zelos would be able to see straight through that lie, knowing Lloyd as well as he does.

"I'll be careful," Lloyd says instead, dropping his hand, slapping it on his thigh to try and relieve some of his own nervousness. "If I take it slow it'll be fine. I'm not gonna try to do any outrageous styling or anything, this is just to take off some of the length."

To be honest, Lloyd can barely remember what Zelos looked like with short hair. When they had first met, both as young children, the redhead's hair barely reached past the nape of his neck, but the mental image is fuzzy, as though it had happened an eternity ago. It's hard to imagine days before the academy, days where he could do things like skip training and running through the gardens, bumping into a superior, and being entirely impolite without major punishment.

Then again, that's nothing compared to what he's done in the past three days.

"If you don't want to go through with it, we don't have to," Lloyd reminds Zelos, leaving the decision entirely up to him.

He'll be careful?? Oh god, Lloyd has no experience cutting hair. Zelos should've expected that, and yet. Aaah, this is a disaster just waiting to happen! But-- ah, well, Zelos does need to pass unnoticed through the town, and--

Argh, fuck it. He's already come this far, anyway. What's a haircut gonna do other than make him look awful?

Oh, boy. Before he can even think about it anymore, Zelos accepts his fate and huffs, taking the cloak off and letting it fall to the ground, then fixing up his hair behind his back. He moves over to sit on a rock near their campsite, his back to Lloyd. "We gain more if we go through with it," he tries to reason with the knight, with himself. Zelos shrugs. "Besides-- me? Travel in the summer heat with this much hair?" he scoffs. "Yeah, right."

Genuinely a little surprised that Zelos is willing enough to go through this, Lloyd begins digging back into his pack a few feet away as Zelos situates himself on the rock, grabbing a ball of twine he had packed away just in case and using the dagger to cut a few strands of it. For all of his lack of experience in cutting hair that isn't his own, he's not dumb enough to try and cut all of Zelos' hair at once. This is gonna take time if he wants this to look good at all.

Moving to stand behind Zelos, Lloyd puts the dagger down. "I dunno how you live with hair this long, anyways," Lloyd says as he begins running his fingers through Zelos' hair, dividing it into sections and tying it back with the strips of twine. Even through three days of traveling, it still feels silky between Lloyd's calloused hands. He tries not to let the urge to play with it distract him, knowing that it'd be unacceptable, even if he used to happily play with Zelos' hair without a second thought. "Just seems like it'd get in the way."

With Zelos' hair sectioned off as evenly as Lloyd could possibly get it, he picks up the dagger again. The problem is, Zelos is still understandably nervous, and for all that Lloyd can't think of what to say, there is no part of him that wants to cut Zelos' hair in silence, not while the man can focus on it. So, placing the dagger to the first section of hair, just beneath the twine...

"At least you'll probably shed less like a dog without as much hair," Lloyd jokes, carefully putting pressure on Zelos' hair with the sharp edge of the dagger.

Zelos isn't surprised at how foreign the sensation of having someone else run their fingers through his hair is already, biting his lower lip and just letting Lloyd do whatever he must to prepare for the haircut. "Get in the way? Long hair is gorgeous if you know how to care for it," Zelos says, swallowing down his nerves and clinging to jokes to cope.

And then-- ohhh, Zelos shivers when he feels the dagger cut at his hair, though at least Lloyd's still talking, giving him an out. He stays focused on anything but the sensation, tries to keep his mind busy elsewhere, laughing breathlessly at what the other just said, because-- "Are you calling me a bitch?"

Barking out a bit of a surprised laugh, Lloyd keeps his hands steady as he pulls the knife through Zelos' hair, trying to be as gentle and even as possible. The immediate response on his tongue - though something he would have said back when they were best friends, thick as thieves, a joking "well, if the shoe fits" - is way too rude to respond with, so he bites it back, shaking his head though Zelos can't see it. "I didn't call you anything," Lloyd says, pulling the dagger through the rest of the section of hair, watching as it frays out without any weight to hold it down. "You're just putting words in my mouth!"

One section done, he drops the hair that's gathered in his hand to the ground and grabs the next section, readying the dagger again. "Besides, you act way more like a cat, that much is obvious."

It takes Lloyd grabbing the next section of his hair, along for the sensation of the unburdened weightlessness of shorter hair for Zelos to pause a second and come to his senses. It's... a little startling how easily they've settled into some sort of banter. Now just as nervous as he is giddy, Zelos starts bouncing his leg as he starts doing the mental gymnastics needed to socialize--analyzing Lloyd's words, mannerisms, the way he's led the conversation. Nevermind that he didn't use to have to do this with Lloyd before, but. Whatever.

For now, Zelos settles for something noncommittal. "All the grace and poise of a cat are fitting, yes. Thanks for noticing!"

Every time Lloyd cuts another section of hair, Zelos exhales slowly. Well... this isn't so bad, sensation wise. It's fine, really. The only thing that's worrying him is how it'll all look in the end, but, well, they don't really have any way to check that until they get to town. He'll just have to wait it out.

It's with a snort that Lloyd slowly cuts the next few strands of hair, focus mostly concentrated on trying to keep the cut even to the previous one and succeeding, for the most part. The ends may be a little choppy, but it's not like he's done this before, exactly, and a dagger and some twine are hardly real replacements for proper scissors and training. Oh well.

"All the grace and poise of an alley cat, maybe," Lloyd snarks, though the grin he wears betrays his playfulness. "You would've been friends with Oliver."

And then he pauses for a second, realizing that through his letters, he never really found much of a chance to tell Zelos about his only friend while at the Academy. Oliver was a rough little runt of a cat, one that loved to hang around his empty little dormroom, all torn ears and matted fur. "He was a cat that you could say I adopted when I was still at the Academy. It took me weeks to get him to get close to me, even though I could tell he was curious with how he hung around my dorm window all the time. I bribed him to come near with food scraps," Lloyd explains, huffing a little laugh in remembrance, voice softened with fondness. "Once he got fed, though, it was over. I left my window open and he would just decide to make himself comfortable on my pillow. There were so many mornings where I'd wake up for rollcall and find myself with a mouth full of cat fur. And he always hung out with me when I was in my room in my free time, just keeping me company."

He wonders where Oliver is now. If the next knight-in-training placed in Lloyd's former dorm will treat Oliver with kindness and accept him into the room. After all, Lloyd owes a lot to the feisty cat - without, at least, his friendship, Lloyd doubts he would've kept his sanity.

"You know what, though," Lloyd pulls himself back to reality, finishing up with yet another section of hair, repeating the process once again, and edging the playfulness back into his voice. "I don't think he would have responded as well to you, actually. I heard divas don't do well with other divas."

Lloyd goes into his little story, and while entertaining, it only serves to quiet Zelos for a while as he speaks. Because Lloyd... never mentioned a cat. In all of his letters and what little chats they could have when he came back from the Academy, the subject of a cat named Oliver never came up. And just like that it occurs to Zelos that despite the familiarity and comfort of their current banter, despite their shared history and past openness, nowadays they hold many secrets neither dares to share.

It leaves a sour taste in his mouth. He swallows it down when Lloyd starts joking again though, trying to hide it, and forces a chuckle and some levity into his own tone before he responds. "Yeah, I don't think it could've resisted for too long," he says, opting for the easiest way out. "All cats can be bribed with food. You did it yourself, anyway! You should know!"

Restless energy settles in his chest, and the inability to fidget with anything lest he ruin his own haircut starts to grate against his nerves. This sucks. Zelos really wants Lloyd to finish up soon.

Chuckling along with Zelos' comment, completely unaware of how uncomfortable the redhead has become, Lloyd cuts through the next bit of hair, a little surprised at how quickly this is going by. Around halfway through with the process, he lets himself get lost in the pattern, keeping a light banter tossed back and forth between them, keeping his hand steady and the pressure gentle, trying not to pull on Zelos' hair as he keeps it straight enough to cut through. Lloyd's... Relaxed, enough, he guesses, to where he doesn't feel like he needs to think too hard about what to say. It's weird, not having to deal with formalities anymore, not having to act the perfect knight. Even though his training shouts at him from the back of his mind, it's easier to ignore it then it used to be.

Eventually, Lloyd finishes the job, dropping the last section of hair to the ground, and brushes his hand through the ends of Zelos' new haircut to clean it up a little. He's a little proud, actually - even though the haircut is still choppy, a bit uneven towards the sides, it's hardly noticeable enough to make it look bad. It looks like it's a deliberate choice, even. With that, Lloyd steps back, sheathing the dagger and brushing off stray hairs on the front of his tunic.

"All done!" he says. Lloyd kinda wishes he had a mirror or something for Zelos to see the results with, but it'll have to wait.

Thank god that's over with already! Zelos raises to stand, stretches his arms over his head. It feels good to be back on his feet already. If he had to sit there for any longer he would've thrown a fit or something.

He's still pretty uncomfortable, but at least the enforced banter during the haircut is done with now, and soon enough they can be back on the road. For appearance's sake, though, Zelos twists on his heel and poses, one hand exaggeratedly gesturing at his hair as he laughs. "Well? How do I look?" he calls out, expectant and yet nervous. "Good enough to fool the authorities?"

With a snort, Lloyd glances over at Zelos, all poses and dumb comments, and any smart response he could have had dies on his tongue as soon as he makes eye contact. It's just unfair that Zelos can pull off everything, including a messy haircut, and still look gorgeous while doing so. His bangs still frame the side of his face, much like before, but it feels like so much more is visible now, violet eyes bright against ruby red hair.

It's so unfair, the way Zelos is still able to make Lloyd's heart skip a beat like it did when he was just a kid with a schoolyard crush on his best friend. Augh.

Turning around to grab at his pack, Lloyd makes sure to keep his face otherwise hidden as he packs up the dagger and twine, hating the way his cheeks warm slightly. Who gave him the right to look so good all the time, ugh. "Yeah, yeah!" He replies, waving a hand behind him, keeping his voice light and casual enough to not give away his own embarrasment. "Good enough to fool the authorities. It's definitely a big enough difference to cause confusion."

Just gotta get used to it, Lloyd. You'll be fine. He's just attractive, and soon enough you'll get used to it again. Fuck.

Edited 2019-10-03 19:36 (UTC)

Zelos kinda wishes he could see the haircut, but without any reflective surfaces around and with their current hurry, he's shit out of luck for that. Well, at least Lloyd says it'll work. Guess he'll hold onto that.

Lloyd turns back to grab his pack, so Zelos busies himself with grabbing his cloak and getting ready to hit the road again. It already feels weird to not have the bulk of his hair flowing about, following his every movement, and the lack of its weight is downright disconcerting. But, he notes, the soft spring breeze hitting his neck in the heat of the afternoon is a godsend, so he'll make do. And it's not like it's permanent, for crying out loud. It'll grow eventually.

"Well, thanks for the haircut!" Zelos remembers his manners, looking back at Lloyd with a grin. "Now let's get going again. I'd like to find a mirror as soon as possible."

And just like that, they get going. Packing up the campsite is short work, as quickly as they've gotten used to the routine, and bags ready and weapons re-equipped, they set out on the road. As much as Lloyd would like to say that the haircut and their resulting banter had opened the way up for more conversation and banter, the truth is that as soon as they picked their journey back up, it was a return to silence and general conversational avoidance. Though he tries to stay upbeat, to stop the disheartedness get to him, Lloyd can't help but frown a little, focusing on leading them accurately and carefully once again.

He can't help himself from glancing at Zelos from time to time, though. To see if he'll talk, if he seems like he's enjoying himself. He's always a foot or two behind Lloyd, and that bothers the ex-knight more than he'd like to admit. Lloyd just wants to talk, just like they used to, but he considers himself lucky if he can get more than a few sentences out of Zelos at a time.

And it continues like this for days. Every day is an exercise in patience, an exercise in trying to crack open the shell Zelos has hidden away in. Sometimes, Zelos will say something, smile in a certain way, and Lloyd will feel hope rise in his chest, something of a dove singing and greeting the morning, only for that hope to be ripped away as soon as he distances himself again, bringing them both back to square one. And eventually, Lloyd loses his motivation to try again and again, conversation starters and jokes left hanging in cold air. Eventually, he begins to wonder, once again, if Zelos truly wants to be here.

But Lloyd keeps trying.

"Say, Zelos," he says one afternoon on their travels, looking ahead and keeping his voice friendly, only half-expecting Zelos to actually give him the time of day. "What would you like to do once we get to Iselia?"

For Zelos, the next few days are an exercise in self-bargaining.

He's not exactly ready to face the reality of what he's done just yet, but every day it's a little easier to think about the road ahead instead of the road behind. So alright, he's out here in the middle of nowhere after running away from home and responsibility with an ex-knight with a reputation that made his life misery, chasing a fleeting dream of his that he literally only told Zelos about seconds before their departure. This is still insane, and Zelos can't really tell how he's feeling about it, but the further they get from the Wilder manor, the easier it gets to swallow that pill down.

Making conversation with Lloyd is... awkward, after that rocky start. But underneath it, Zelos thinks he's justified in his discomfort: he and Lloyd could hardly even keep a conversation in letters lately, and Lloyd is completely different from the teenager Zelos leaned on when he needed it, and as a result of the chasm between them they've resorted to keeping secrets from one another. Understandable, if frustrating. It makes trying to read Lloyd and adapt to his conversation harder than it should be, because Zelos vehemently refuses to cling to a past that's honestly no longer theirs to claim.

For the most part Zelos keeps to his thoughts, admiring the views and checking the map whenever he can, trying to put himself back together after their horrible start. And he's been resorting to the mask to cope, too, treating Lloyd with the same casual brevity he would any guest at a ball, or whatever.

And Zelos can't say he's happy about that one. The guy broke him out of a life of boredom, for god's sake. The least Zelos could do would be nicer than treating him like any other pest. But how...?

Oh.

When Lloyd asks his question, Zelos is in the middle of beating himself up for being out here again, mind occupied by dark, swirling thoughts of how he's only dragging Lloyd down in his quest for freedom and peace. It startles him, then, and he takes a second to taste the question before answering. Well, what does he want to do in Iselia? What's the one thing he wants from the town? How's he going to spend his freedom?

Cold anxiety grips him tight when Zelos abruptly realizes that he doesn't know.

Because, what the hell is he supposed to do in Iselia? He's been too busy thinking of what he left behind, of what they need to do next, and as such he hasn't given their destination much thought. Zelos, caught red handed, nearly trips on his feet and stops walking. Instead he looks down to the ground as he continues on ahead, frowning and lost in thought.

"I..." it escapes his mouth. The frown deepens. He winds up releasing a sigh after holding the air in for a few seconds, shoulders slumping before he looks back up with a blank mask on, shrugging, dutifully following behind Lloyd. "I don't know. I guess I'll figure it out when I get there."

Edited (Important addition) 2019-10-04 04:19 (UTC)

Lloyd doesn't catch the way Zelos trips, doesn't catch the frown. He only turns around to glance back at Zelos after hearing his sigh, heart dropping at the way Zelos blankly looks ahead, shrugging with the same sort of disinterest that he used to when he was scolded for ignoring his duties as a child. Lloyd swallows, downcast, and faces forward again, any hopeful discussion dying out on his tongue as he nods. "Yeah," he says, lowering his gaze down to the ground in front of him. "Yeah, I guess that checks out. I'm sure there will be a lot to do there."

The truth is, Lloyd had been hoping Zelos would respond. The truth is, Lloyd had been hoping for something to grab onto, a rock edge to grab in the mess of climbing this towering mountain of trying to fix what's been broken, just like he had been for the better part of almost two weeks now. He had been hoping for a conversation, for talks of dreams and possibilities and something they could both work at achieving. But as it stands, Lloyd's not sure he has the right to ask for Zelos to be anymore attentive or open than he is. It's obvious to Lloyd at this point that Zelos is upset, that the blank faces and masks are just him trying to hide how badly he doesn't want to be here. Lloyd should have never asked him to come, should have never taken him away from the life he lived like he did.

Maybe he should just turn around and take Zelos back.

The silence returns, heavier this time, and Lloyd lets it wash over them. He can't find it in himself to try and break it again, can't find it in himself to risk being brushed off again at this moment. He doesn't know what he could say or do to make this any better, to try and apologize for making Zelos more miserable than he already was. Maybe Lloyd had clung onto the idea of running away, but he shouldn't have chained Zelos to yet another expectation. No wonder Zelos talks to him like he used to talk to people he disliked. Lloyd's eyes water, irritatingly, so he shuts them tight and forces it back. He's not going to cry, not here, not now, not about this. He shouldn't be a baby because things aren't going his way.

"We're coming up on a town," Lloyd says after around half an hour of silence, not bothering to look up from the map. "It'll get dark soon; we should rent a room at an inn."

The tension and silence in the air chokes at Zelos along with his doubts and anxieties, the question of 'what are you gonna do once we get to Iselia?' repeating ad infinitum in his head. What can he do? The only thing he knows how to be so far is a lord. Maybe he could settle into politics, but-- yeah, right. Get out of politics to settle into politics, putting yourself out there in the map for anyone to come claim, and then Lloyd will pay the price for that. But what else is there? What does he do with himself anymore?

Grey clouds gather in the sky as they walk onwards, the temperatures dropping with the coming of rain. It'd be best if they weren't caught out here when it starts raining. So, resting at a town sounds like heaven right now, actually, and Zelos says so. In total silence, he follows behind Lloyd as they enter town, careful and alert, and keeps himself out of any prying eyes by pulling the hood of the cloak up over his head. Haircut or not, he wouldn't wanna risk it now, right?

With travel held at a standstill as it is, Lloyd manages to get them a room faster than it would've been otherwise. He pulls the hood off when they enter and gets to examining the room after setting down their things. Conserving money while passing through towns has been the top priority, so Zelos isn't surprised when their room only has one bed. Uncomfortable, perhaps, but not surprised. It's fine--he can scoot up to the edge if it need be.

Thunder roars outside, the rain finally breaking through and dropping in from above. Zelos walks over to the window to assess the damages, but something in the way catches his eye; a small mirror, dusty and aged, reflecting his ruby red hair in the low light. Short, ruby red hair, that is, looking choppy and uneven and hardly professional, but passable. It really only looks off if you actually focus on it, it seems. For his inexperience Lloyd sure did a pretty good job.

Zelos raises a hand to play with the tips of his bangs, admiring Lloyd's work, and snorts. "Hey, not bad," he says without turning around, but seeking Lloyd's figure in the reflection of the mirror, then tugging at his own bangs when Lloyd looks his way. "The haircut. It's good."

Edited 2019-10-04 22:12 (UTC)

As soon as they enter the room, Lloyd busies himself with dropping his pack and searching through it, taking note of anything that needs to be restocked while in town. He should see about getting more twine, and it couldn't hurt to get any food preserved with traveling in mind. Grabbing onto the handle of his dagger, he unsheathes it and takes a glance at the edge - couldn't hurt to sharpen it again. He's had more use out of it than he has his swords as of late, anyways -

Zelos' voice cuts into his thoughts, and Lloyd blinks, looking over at him. With a small grin, Lloyd sheathes the dagger again and places it back in his pack, making eye contact with Zelos through the mirror. "I told you I'd be careful," he says, huffing a laugh. "Glad you don't mind it, though. Maybe I'll take up being a hairstylist when we get to Iselia."

Inventory taken and jokes cracked, Lloyd sits on the edge of the bed and falls back with a sigh, enjoying the fact that he's on an actual bed for the first time in a while, empowered by the fact that Zelos spoke up first for once, even if it was only a little. The rain continues on, strengthening as the storm intensifies, but within the small room of this cozy inn it feels more like comfort than anything else. Still, it was definitely a good idea to rent a room for the night.

"Can you believe we're traveling like this?" Lloyd asks aloud, staring up at the ceiling, a nostalgic smile gracing his lips. "We talked about it as kids, but it's real now. It's crazy."

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He is beginning to Shut Down

hoo boy things are surely going to get better before they get worse

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here we GO

AH, YOU WANNA CUT HIS HAIR

AT LEAST HE'LL HAVE CUTE SHORT HAIR

TRUE

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Whoops

goddamn it, we were doing so well

SHORT HAIR ICONS BREAKOUT IN THE WRONG THREAD

MINOR GAY PANIC NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT

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