The trip is mindless, going by while Zelos attempts to recollect himself. Mindless, yet hasty--their snack breaks are short, there's very little rest, they barely even talk. Trying to get as far away from the manor as possible, Zelos guesses. So despite the dissociation clinging to his head Zelos attempts to help anyway he can until they finally hit an uninhabited land with a dirt road leading to god knows where.
And now he really can't keep his mind from wandering again.
With the sun beating down on them Zelos absently calculates the time; might be close to noon, now, around the time when he usually wakes up. The knights would have been up and about for a long while by now, which means that Kratos must've already noticed his son's absence. How are they handling that, he wonders. Did anyone other than him even care? Rocky as their relationship may have been, Kratos wouldn't have let something like his replacement going missing go. Zelos imagines, for a moment, what it would've been like if he'd awakened today only to see the knights in disarray, if he'd greeted the day to news of Lloyd being missing. How would Kratos have looked?
But he's not in the Wilder manor right now, is he? He's out here on the roads on a trip to some border town in the south, being--
Lloyd lets go of his hand.
It happens in the blink of an eye. One moment Lloyd is saying something Zelos doesn't quite catch under the murkiness of his subdued conscious, and then the next thing Zelos sees is a blur of brown and red falling to the ground in front of him, down into the--
snow, right after the blade is dragged out of his mother's back, leaving behind a trail of red that stains the white flakes. It's so cold. So cold, so cold, so cold, so cold. Slowly, Mylene drops into the ground. The blood on her back is staining her coat. Someone's shouting something in the distance, but there's movement to his left. It's so cold. Movement again, and when he turns to look he catches the glint of a blade, a blade stained with his mother's blood--
--dirt below. Like a drowning man breaking the surface of the water Zelos comes back to himself with a loud gasp, the world suddenly crystal clear around him, painfully so, every single sound and sensation and colour brilliant and crisp as he drops down on his knees next to Lloyd. His heart is pounding, his head is spinning. "No no no, no, come on, Lloyd," he mumbles, voice foreign to his own ears, blood pumping, hands shaking as he pushes Lloyd onto his back. "Come on, Lloyd, stay with me, come on. Come on, come on-- W-What the fuck, Lloyd! Stay with me!"
Lloyd is so goddamn heavy, but eventually he's finally on his back. Zelos swallows down his heart. Oh no, oh no, oh no, this isn't happening. Oh god. The first thing that strikes Zelos is how pale Lloyd is. Mind racing a mile a minute, the second thing Zelos notices is that there's no blood anywhere on him. That's a genuine relief, but--how embarrassing, come on. Without really thinking about it Zelos presses his ear to Lloyd's chest, checking for a steady heartbeat, and right away a ray of clarity hits his mind. Logically speaking, a small part of Zelos' subconscious says, Lloyd is just fine. He's passed out. He's probably just exhausted, but--well, that still doesn't stop Zelos from freaking out. The way he fell, it was just like--
He shuts his eyes tight and listens for Lloyd's heart. Ba-dump, ba-dump, he catches a sound. Relieved, Zelos releases all the air in his lungs in a laugh. It's still there. Lloyd is alive.
Lloyd is alive.
Zelos stays pressed to the other's chest for a little while, blinking back old memories while trying to put himself together again.
RIP he freaked out
And now he really can't keep his mind from wandering again.
With the sun beating down on them Zelos absently calculates the time; might be close to noon, now, around the time when he usually wakes up. The knights would have been up and about for a long while by now, which means that Kratos must've already noticed his son's absence. How are they handling that, he wonders. Did anyone other than him even care? Rocky as their relationship may have been, Kratos wouldn't have let something like his replacement going missing go. Zelos imagines, for a moment, what it would've been like if he'd awakened today only to see the knights in disarray, if he'd greeted the day to news of Lloyd being missing. How would Kratos have looked?
But he's not in the Wilder manor right now, is he? He's out here on the roads on a trip to some border town in the south, being--
Lloyd lets go of his hand.
It happens in the blink of an eye. One moment Lloyd is saying something Zelos doesn't quite catch under the murkiness of his subdued conscious, and then the next thing Zelos sees is a blur of brown and red falling to the ground in front of him, down into the--
--dirt below. Like a drowning man breaking the surface of the water Zelos comes back to himself with a loud gasp, the world suddenly crystal clear around him, painfully so, every single sound and sensation and colour brilliant and crisp as he drops down on his knees next to Lloyd. His heart is pounding, his head is spinning. "No no no, no, come on, Lloyd," he mumbles, voice foreign to his own ears, blood pumping, hands shaking as he pushes Lloyd onto his back. "Come on, Lloyd, stay with me, come on. Come on, come on-- W-What the fuck, Lloyd! Stay with me!"
Lloyd is so goddamn heavy, but eventually he's finally on his back. Zelos swallows down his heart. Oh no, oh no, oh no, this isn't happening. Oh god. The first thing that strikes Zelos is how pale Lloyd is. Mind racing a mile a minute, the second thing Zelos notices is that there's no blood anywhere on him. That's a genuine relief, but--how embarrassing, come on. Without really thinking about it Zelos presses his ear to Lloyd's chest, checking for a steady heartbeat, and right away a ray of clarity hits his mind. Logically speaking, a small part of Zelos' subconscious says, Lloyd is just fine. He's passed out. He's probably just exhausted, but--well, that still doesn't stop Zelos from freaking out. The way he fell, it was just like--
He shuts his eyes tight and listens for Lloyd's heart. Ba-dump, ba-dump, he catches a sound. Relieved, Zelos releases all the air in his lungs in a laugh. It's still there. Lloyd is alive.
Lloyd is alive.
Zelos stays pressed to the other's chest for a little while, blinking back old memories while trying to put himself together again.