Well, shit, Zelos should've expected Kratos would be taking Lloyd away when he got owned like that. Zelos takes a deep breath and exhales slowly as Lloyd walks off behind his father, unable to bring himself to wave back, or even shift his expression from the displeased frown he currently wears. This was so stupid. He really shouldn't have done that, if only to give himself a chance to catch up to Lloyd again, but it looks like their roles are still oppressive as always even in the Wilder manor.
Zelos watches Lloyd's retreating back as he and Kratos join the rest of the knights and disappear elsewhere near the barracks. He counts to one, two, three. Takes another deep breath, then twists on his heel and leaves where he came, all the way back until he's locked in his study once more and he's face to face with the same boring stack of papers as before.
He sits down with a loud flop. Fine, then. Whatever.
Get to work.
Hours pass like that, interrupted only with lunch and dinner and some coffee in-between. There's silence, for the most part. A couple of Kratos' men come stand guard around outside early into the afternoon, much to Zelos' dismay, but he pays them no mind. He just loses himself into the mind-numbing task of going through the paperwork and fulfilling his duties, careful of what he does. Approve of this, discredit that, look into this, bargain with that. It's a way of keeping his mind off Lloyd's small, exhausted smile and gaze as he left, or the practiced greeting, or the automatic way in which the once rambunctious boy shut down after enough pressure, and how much that bothers him.
That gives Zelos pause, for a moment, and he lowers his pen to glare down at murky letters on white paper. Lloyd... He's been like that ever since he left for the academy, now, all stiff and rule-abiding and fake compliance. It makes Zelos wonder--is knight training really going so bad?
Is Lloyd... doing okay?
Ah, no no. Don't think about that now. Just get back to work.
He picks up the pen again and back to work it is.
Or, at least he tries to get back to work. By the time the clock reads nine Zelos' thoughts are in such disarray that he can't really bring himself to continue working for the night, and so he excuses himself and promptly leaves for his room. The evening shift guards follow to stand outside through the night, as always, and Zelos doesn't hide his displeasure with the lack of privacy; really, it's fine. If anyone cared to put a third Wilder lord to an early grave, they already would've done so. But here he is, still alive. Unfortunately. This security thing is honestly getting ridiculous by this point.
Thankfully his room is off-limits. Once inside of it Zelos locks his door and busies himself with changing into something more comfortable. It's still too early to truly sleep, though, so he'll have to find something else to do to unwind. But even as he tries to empty his mind and think nothing at all, even as he busies himself trying to find something to read and pass the time, Zelos knows he wouldn't even be able to sleep even if he tried; his mind is plagued with thoughts of Lloyd's time at the academy, of the four years they've slowly drifted apart as they take up their roles as a lord and his knight.
It's... worrying. Does Lloyd even enjoy life out there in the academy? Is he happy? Is he even looking forward to working in the manor as a knight? Lloyd doesn't really mention anything in his letters anymore, vague as they've become over the years. Honestly, Zelos considers himself lucky if he even gets more than two pages of content.
What does he think of Zelos now, when their dynamic has so abruptly changed?
Maybe he just doesn't even like you anymore.
Zelos shakes his head. No, stop thinking about it. The questions ache in Zelos' throat as he walks over to the window, pondering, analyzing them, trying to find context clues in his interactions with Lloyd today and his letters, but he swallows them down and stubbornly grits his teeth. It's fine. He at least seemed happy to see Zelos today; and there's that sad smile, too, open as it was. Maybe that means something.
Or maybe it was just pleasantries, stuff he learned in the academy.
Ugh.
'Shut the fuck up already,' Zelos tells himself as he reaches the wall, right before he smacks himself on the forehead with the book in his hands. He takes a deep breath and reaches over to open the window, taking care to leave the curtains spread enough for the light of his desk lamp to be visible. Satisfied for now, he makes his way to his bed, ready to read the night away.
Once upon a time, when they were kids, an open window to Zelos' room was an invitation for Lloyd to come talk and hang out, something of a small tradition between the two of them that helped them bypass rules and get to know one another before it stopped. Zelos' room is on the first floor, easily accessible through the inner garden of the manor--it was always easy for Lloyd to just climb in and then back out whenever he wanted. But with everything that's happened, with the way that Zelos behaved today-- will Lloyd even show up tonight? Nine months a year for four years is enough time for someone to change, after all.
Look it was bound to happen at some point
Zelos watches Lloyd's retreating back as he and Kratos join the rest of the knights and disappear elsewhere near the barracks. He counts to one, two, three. Takes another deep breath, then twists on his heel and leaves where he came, all the way back until he's locked in his study once more and he's face to face with the same boring stack of papers as before.
He sits down with a loud flop. Fine, then. Whatever.
Get to work.
Hours pass like that, interrupted only with lunch and dinner and some coffee in-between. There's silence, for the most part. A couple of Kratos' men come stand guard around outside early into the afternoon, much to Zelos' dismay, but he pays them no mind. He just loses himself into the mind-numbing task of going through the paperwork and fulfilling his duties, careful of what he does. Approve of this, discredit that, look into this, bargain with that. It's a way of keeping his mind off Lloyd's small, exhausted smile and gaze as he left, or the practiced greeting, or the automatic way in which the once rambunctious boy shut down after enough pressure, and how much that bothers him.
That gives Zelos pause, for a moment, and he lowers his pen to glare down at murky letters on white paper. Lloyd... He's been like that ever since he left for the academy, now, all stiff and rule-abiding and fake compliance. It makes Zelos wonder--is knight training really going so bad?
Is Lloyd... doing okay?
Ah, no no. Don't think about that now. Just get back to work.
He picks up the pen again and back to work it is.
Or, at least he tries to get back to work. By the time the clock reads nine Zelos' thoughts are in such disarray that he can't really bring himself to continue working for the night, and so he excuses himself and promptly leaves for his room. The evening shift guards follow to stand outside through the night, as always, and Zelos doesn't hide his displeasure with the lack of privacy; really, it's fine. If anyone cared to put a third Wilder lord to an early grave, they already would've done so. But here he is, still alive. Unfortunately. This security thing is honestly getting ridiculous by this point.
Thankfully his room is off-limits. Once inside of it Zelos locks his door and busies himself with changing into something more comfortable. It's still too early to truly sleep, though, so he'll have to find something else to do to unwind. But even as he tries to empty his mind and think nothing at all, even as he busies himself trying to find something to read and pass the time, Zelos knows he wouldn't even be able to sleep even if he tried; his mind is plagued with thoughts of Lloyd's time at the academy, of the four years they've slowly drifted apart as they take up their roles as a lord and his knight.
It's... worrying. Does Lloyd even enjoy life out there in the academy? Is he happy? Is he even looking forward to working in the manor as a knight? Lloyd doesn't really mention anything in his letters anymore, vague as they've become over the years. Honestly, Zelos considers himself lucky if he even gets more than two pages of content.
What does he think of Zelos now, when their dynamic has so abruptly changed?
Zelos shakes his head. No, stop thinking about it. The questions ache in Zelos' throat as he walks over to the window, pondering, analyzing them, trying to find context clues in his interactions with Lloyd today and his letters, but he swallows them down and stubbornly grits his teeth. It's fine. He at least seemed happy to see Zelos today; and there's that sad smile, too, open as it was. Maybe that means something.
Or maybe it was just pleasantries, stuff he learned in the academy.
Ugh.
'Shut the fuck up already,' Zelos tells himself as he reaches the wall, right before he smacks himself on the forehead with the book in his hands. He takes a deep breath and reaches over to open the window, taking care to leave the curtains spread enough for the light of his desk lamp to be visible. Satisfied for now, he makes his way to his bed, ready to read the night away.
Once upon a time, when they were kids, an open window to Zelos' room was an invitation for Lloyd to come talk and hang out, something of a small tradition between the two of them that helped them bypass rules and get to know one another before it stopped. Zelos' room is on the first floor, easily accessible through the inner garden of the manor--it was always easy for Lloyd to just climb in and then back out whenever he wanted. But with everything that's happened, with the way that Zelos behaved today-- will Lloyd even show up tonight? Nine months a year for four years is enough time for someone to change, after all.
And Zelos knows that he certainly has.